pontisbright: pontisbright (Default)
Once upon a time, before John Nettles played a policeman investigating ridiculously unlikely crime amongst the posh people of Midsomer, he played a policeman investigating ridiculously unlikely crime amongst the posh people of Jersey in Bergerac. Like Shoestring only shit, Jim Bergerac's claim to fame was his massive nose and extraordinary poetic skills ability to make a map of Jersey mutate into his own name once a week. How the criminals cowered!

As if shagging Leela every week weren't enough to assert his Whovian cred, old Jim met up with a certain ginger gentleman in 4.04, 'Low Profile'. In the interests of skience I have tracked it down...


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After Planet of Shorts, Stricko demanded something a little less revealing from wardrobe.

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Oh noes! The fangirls can still see my infamous eyebrows!

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Stricko takes the opportunity to get a good pout in.

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Uh-oh: Welshmen!

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They're trying to drown me! Even though I'm wearing a breathing tank. I could just swim a bit further away and then they'd be stuffed!

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Or I could expand my acting repertoire by being a big spazzy coward.

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*flutters eyelashes damply*

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Oh noes, more drowning!

Dialogue triumph as the Welshmen sail away:
Cliff: You should've given him one, Gareth.
Gareth: Not worth it, mun. Pathetic little bugger.

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What do you mean, this is my only other scene? I'm all pretty-looking when I don't have people trying to drown me!

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*sulks*

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I'll even prove I've learned not to do that thing where I look over my shoulder all the time to make sure I'm on camera.

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See?

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This is 1985, for heaven's sake. Stop checking out the secretaries.

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He's mine, sunshine. Now naff off back to Trion.

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*flounces*

And that, tragically, is all the gingerness there is. In fact, the episode is so badly written that they could've dispensed with the B plot entirely, since at the end Jim says 'oh, we never really sorted out all that stuff with the boats from the beginning, did we?' and Crozier just grins. Ah, they don't make them like they used to.

However, the show did finish with a thrilling car chase. On Jersey. A very small island. And since they weren't bothering to make the plot make sense, there was time for this: yes, morris dancing!

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It seems the people of Jersey LOVE their morris dancing.

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A fun day out for all the family. But what's this?

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It's the Morris Police! RUN, LADIES WITH BELLS ON! THEY'LL NEVER CATCH YOU!


Bergerac being the Casualty of its day, the rest of the Whoniverse of course receives excellent representation.


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Leela.

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That bloke from The Green Death.

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I spent the whole time thinking this guy was Shockeye. Poor man.

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Lamia from The Androids of Tara, so ImdB tells me.

Apparently someone else was in The Leisure Hive, but the bit-parts were so badly differentiated I couldn't work out who and capped the wrong one, oops. :(

And last but not least: Beryl 'Earthshock' Reid!
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You're not looking Babs Cartland enough, darling, slap a bit more on.
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Now wasn't that educational?


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