So, sword-fighting Five or sword-fighting Ten: who wins?


Pyjama-clad psychopath?


Or dainty chap in a jumper?


Following the 'looking a bit like someone's dad' principle, I'm afraid that's a win to the new boy.

Although Fivey gets points for having swishy hair, and having to fight a man with a plastic nose armed with this:


Hm. What next: competitive unconsciousness?


In another shocking development, someone put Turlough in bondage. If they ever made a Turlough action figure, it would come supplied with its own pair of handcuffs. And we would all be quite happy.