The lovely thing about ficathons is that sometimes they make you explore avenues you might otherwise have avoided.





Thomas Hector Schofield: staff nurse at a London hospital, 2021; companion of the Seventh Doctor, with Ace, in Big Finish's audio adventures.

Reasons to not want to listen to Hex

Because, eek, was I ever resistant to this. Seventh Doctor audios don't have the best reputation among fans, in terms of storylining or performances. And I, not being a big Seven-era-telly fan, was less than enthusiastic. If the rrrrolling Rs and lisping was a bit much on-screen, then Sylv 'n' Soph in aural form was not really sounding like my cup of tea.

There's the name: Hex. So redolent of all the things that niggle about the Seventh Doctor era. It sounds so 80s. It sounds like it's going to be someone wacky, or zany, or any number of other epithets no real person would ever endure.

And then they go and cast Philip Olivier as this 'Hex' - which, if you aren't British, will mean little, but for us lot was a bit perturbing. Bloke who played a scally in a shell-suit on Brookside (long-since-axed soap, heavy on the issues, set in Liverpool) and in RL went out with one of its inflatable-boobed young blonde actresses. Bloke who was on The Games (reality telly with sporty oneupmanship), flexing his clumpy great muscles. Bloke who works out quite a lot. The sort of bloke you suspect would probably thoroughly mock the average (stereotype of a) Doctor Who fan for being a flabby nerd who wasn't getting any.


** WARNING: ALARMING TORSO OF DOOM ALERT **




*shudders* See, I know I'm supposed to be swooning and whatnot, but, frankly, ew. Any physique that implies that conversation would revolve around how many carbs have been consumed over dinner rather than existentialism/telly/novels/the world in general - no ta. And yes, surprise! apparently he's terribly popular with the young gay gentlemen: calendar sales aplenty, hosting of Mr Gay UK, so possibly I'm not the target audience. :) Anyway, gay fanbase aside, what the hell is this bloke doing recording Who audios?

Reasons why I was silly and wrong for not wanting to listen to Hex

Why's Philip Olivier doing BF audios? Cos he's bloody marvellous at them. I don't care what he looks like in his look-at-my-abs-mucky calendar: it's radio, after all. And bollocks to having a 'soap actor' past: he's really, really good. Wonderful timing. Chemistry with the leads, and the guests. His presence raises everyone's game. And the accent: Scouse can be harsh and hard and automatically slightly aggressive, but his is softened, somehow, and it draws you in. It's an active asset, not a hindrance. Audio drama is a craft distinct from acting on screen or stage, and he is undeniably fab at it.

Honestly, BFs are a bit barmy sometimes, and certainly patchy. But he's noticeably good. Good enough to make it worth listening to, even if it's a dodgy one.

Reasons why Hex himself is made entirely of wincakes

He's lovely! A genuinely decent bloke, profligate with hugs, sincere in his work. He's a nurse because he wants to do his best for other people (and for himself - it's a steady job, after all), and he sticks with that, alien planets or not. If he can help, he will - although he might be endearingly freaked out by the whole process along the way. He's got all of Jamie's honest warmth, combined with Sarah's drive. Plus (of course) he has the obligatory absent-father-issues, and thus plenty of opportunity for drive-by emo. (In fact, according to wikipedia, there's a truckload more backstory to be unearthed at a later date: link is spoilery for Sixth and Seventh Doctor audios.)

Despite being a 'modern' (near-future) character in a tough job, he's got no cynicism or coldness: he hopes for the best, and adapts to the reality he gets instead without complaint. And since now he sounds rather like Nyssa, it's worth adding that a) he's got a certain dry wit about him, and b) that wit is slowly building a rather sweet relationship with his fellow companion, Ace. They are flirty and snarky and brother/sister/something else maybe? and it is adorable.

I am utterly convinced. Where do I find this lovely chap?

BF audios with Hex in are as follows:
The Harvest
Dreamtime
Live 34
Night Thoughts
The Veiled Leopard
The Settling
No Man's Land

Here's my confession: I have heard less than half his stories, and haven't even heard his introduction. Of what I have heard: 'Dreamtime' is good solid mind-melting fun, quite trippy but well-constructed. 'Live 34' is a love-it-or-hate-it story, experimental in structure (whole story told through reportage), which has some appalling exposition scenes but really picks up in parts 2 and 3; very dark and realistic for Who, and realy quite unsettling. 'Night Thoughts' is pure horror and will scare the crap out of you. I would make a value judgement but I was too busy having the crap scared out of me to know whether it was hammy nonsense or brilliant.

Do let me know if there's one you think I really should hear, you tiny band of Hexfans. :)

Icons
Because no one has any, and that's wrong.

1. 2. 3.

4. 5. 6.

Image adapted from original artwork by Stuart Manning, without permission: he's bloody brilliant and if I could pay him a million quid for every time I dodgily used an image of his for an icon I would.


Oh, and you know what I really like about Hex? Turlough would loathe him. And, you know, I love Turlough, but he's a crappy judge of character.